My Kingdom . . .

On Tuesday, Pastor Bryan shared a little bit of his upcoming sermon (for this Sunday) and in it, he asked us what kingdom were we building -- Were we building OUR Kingdom or God's Kingdom? I've been chewing on this thought this week and I'm going to share my conclusion about "My kingdom".

I spent last weekend in Dallas with my friend and the whole purpose was to scrapbook and make a few cards. I had some spending money and while I was there, we went to several scrapbook stores and craft stores and I was trying to do the best I could to make my money stretch to get the best deals and still end up walking away with some of the "latest greatest scrapbooking things".

Another friend gave me some 40% off coupons for a craft store and I was PUMPED because I could get a cartridge for my die cutting machine for 40% off there!! (At Hobby Lobby & Michael's, you can't use the coupons on the cartridges.)

Anyway, the next stop was the craft store!! I went in and had four 40% off coupons and decided to get 2 cartridges. They are normally $85 each in this store, they had just marked them down to $65, so with my coupon, they came to about $35 - $40 each. So, pretty much 2 for the price of 1. There was one that I had been wanting and I found another one in the bunch that I could use. So, I bought both.

When we got to my friend's house, I felt sick about the 2nd cartridge. I told her that I had to take it back. It didn't make much sense because it was such a good deal!! But, the longer I had the cartridge, the more guilty I felt. Once I decided that I would take the cartridge back tomorrow, the feeling left me.

That night, I laid in bed wondering why I felt so guilty about the cartridge. I felt like God told me that I had WANTED the 1 cartridge and the other was extra that I didn't NEED/WANT before. It still didn't really make much sense because it was such a good deal!!! But, I took it back. I did end up buying some more paper and I didn't feel guilty about that.

SO, when I got back to staff meeting, Bryan's mini-sermon made me start thinking -- Whose kingdom am I building? I got home and walked in my office to put my stuff away and it was as if I was standing at the door to my kingdom -- literally. If you've seen my office/scrapbooking space, you know that I pretty much have my own little store in here!! I think it's almost more fun to BUY things than it is to actually USE them!!

Pastor Bryan said that he had to give away some fishing poles and I was scared that God would ask me to get rid of my supplies! God hasn't asked me to do that, but I feel right now that if He did, I would be obedient.

It's actually 1:20 am on Saturday morning and I just returned from a crop at the scrapbook store -- where you go to work on your pages. I had some AMAZING self-control that I haven't had before. She announced a 25% off any one item sale and before, I would have jumped at ANYTHING!! But, tonight, I couldn't find ONE THING that I couldn't live without. And, it didn't bother me. Before, I would have just bought something to use the 25% off.

So, tonight I'm declaring that I'm finished buying supplies for a while. I have realized what a kingdom I have created and I'm laying it down. I am still going to scrapbook and make cards and make things, but not with it consuming me like it once had. I realized this week how much time I spend online looking at scrapbooking websites. I realized how much money I spend MONTHLY to support my addiction -- to just buying supplies! If I had a wardrobe worth the money I've spent on scrapbooking supplies . . . well, that's just a scary thought!! I am going to have to buy some clothes to go to California, but I've already spent my blow money this month on -- yes, you guessed it -- scrapbook stuff (and Payton's birthday, but you know what I mean.) I'm believing that my husband is going to have grace on me and give me an advance on next month's allowance or that God will provide because I'm repenting and laying down my kingdom.

I've found it hard this week to try to find the balance of it all. My top spiritual gift is GIVING and I LOVE to make things and I'm pretty creative in that area, so I could justify every penny I was spending. But, I know the plan is to balance it all.

So, tonight I've told the paper fairy to leave me alone. I've told the "latest & greatest" fairy to leave me alone. I am speaking silence to the voice that tells me to run to Hobby Lobby. I am doing a secret scrapbook sister thing online and it ends next month. I'm going to finish my commitment to that and be finished buying stuff for a while. No more online swaps.

The cool thing about it is that Casey and I were talking about my new cartridge the other night at life group and a young lady was sitting there hanging on to every word we were saying. When we finished talking, she told me that she loves to do crafts and all the things she's made or would like to make. I will say that she is pretty creative herself! I'm thinking that I'm going to go through my "store" and give her some stuff. Maybe take her to a crop with me or something to build relationship with her. I am really excited about that thought!!!

P.S. 2 weeks until we leave for California!! The official countdown has begun!!