A Bigger Car . . .

I've been praying and thinking about this for a few weeks now. I am in need of a bigger car -- just plain and simple. For one, on Sunday mornings, my car is LOADED down with things for children's church. Most of the time there isn't even room for my kids in my car on Sundays!! And, it's not stuff that I can just leave at the school. It has to be transported week after week.

Secondly, I want to be a part of the school carpool. Krissy has a carpool going with this lady in Baird. Then, Kilee started going to Cornerstone and I thought it was the perfect time to jump on the "carpool" wagon. But, my car isn't big enough to hold all of the kids, plus Evan. So, right now, the plan is that I will pay Jennifer $15 a week for gas to use her van to go get all of the kids. It is kind of both of our ways in getting in on our share of the carpool. There isn't a day that she could take or pick up the kids, so letting me use her van is her way in. But, she can't afford the extra gas for 2 more times a week, so I said I would pay her for gas.

It has worked out that I haven't had to use her van (or pay her) and it has been really nice, but that's only because one of the kids was sick on my days or this past Friday, I took Evan to Aaron's office while I went to get the kids.

So, I've been praying for a newer/bigger car and I'm just stepping out there and posting this so all of you can believe with me. Just today, I went in to town and had to pick up stuff for children's church tomorrow. Aaron called and asked if I could come and get the boys (they were at Bryan's playing Xbox), but when I got there, there wasn't ANYWHERE for the boys to sit because of the stuff!! Ethan & Payton sat in the front seat and I cleared out a small place for Evan to sit.

I love my car and I would love to give it away, but we owe money on it and we have to figure out what the deal is with the gas tank (see Aaron's blog), so that isn't an option. I don't have specifics on what kind of car I want -- preferrably an SUV and not white. Other than that, I don't know. This whole thing is just going to have to be one of those "God Things".

You Think You Know Me . . .

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Snow Cone Stand
2. Wal-Mart
3. Finance Manager @ an RV lot
4. Legal Secretary

Movies I would watch over and over:
5. Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
6. Pursuit of Happyness
7. Cars (and have watched it over and over)
8. Facing The Giants

Four places you have lived:
9. Wheeler, TX
10. Abilene, TX (moved away 3 times)
11. Tulsa, OK
12. Enid, OK

Four places you have been on vacation:
13. Disney World
14. Eureka Springs, Arkansas
15. Alaska (on a motorcycle)
16. Ft. Worth, TX (woo whoo)


Four of my favorite foods are:
17. Fuji's
18. Rosa's
19. Baked Potato Soup
20. Chili's Chicken Enchilada Soup

Four places I would rather be right now:
21. on a scrapbooking retreat
22. on the beach
23. on vacation
24. with my sister

Four friends I think will respond:
25. Brandi
26. Natalee
27. Not sure since everyone else has done this
28.

TBL -- Part 2

We've been doing this since last Thursday as a competition and I have to say that I haven't been very competitive. I HAVE been doing much better with what I'm eating and how much. I didn't realize how much I snacked throughout the day and usually not on good things. I didn't realize how much I ate off of my kids' plates after they were finished. Or if I am hungry and eat something, but it didn't quite "hit the spot", I would eat again. BUT, not this week!! I've been doing so good!! Even went to McDonald's today for lunch and DIDN'T have ANY fries!! WOW!! I was sitting there watching everyone else eat their fries, but not me!! I didn't even order any for Evan just so I wouldn't be tempted. YAY for me!

So, tonight I was home alone. My house is a mess and we have life group tomorrow night. I did clean up a little bit, but decided to relax. I was sitting in the living room watching tv when I felt like I was supposed to air up my Core Secrets ball. That was weird!! I took a shower to hopefully "wash away" the thought, but I couldn't. I got out of the shower and pulled my ball out of my closet and aired it up!! What a thigh workout!! My goodness!!!

So, I'm not sure WHY I was supposed to air it up -- maybe to use it?!?! I hope this is funner than the last time I aired it up!! I'm a infomercial junkie and I saw the commercial for Slim in 6 yesterday -- very tempting. . . not as tempting as those french fries, though!!!

ESC Sunday

I thought that yesterday went really well, but today I'm needing some encouragment. Last year, no one put ANY comments on the welcome card and NO ONE said it was good, etc. I was heartbroken!! I wanted someone to tell me that at least I did a good job -- not one.

So, this year was the total opposite. I had people telling me all day how awesome it was and I truly believe that, but it wasn't about me. I believe that God showed up yesterday. The kids that prayed for people were telling me that afternoon, "I prayed for a lot of people today." They were so proud and I was proud of them. I'm telling you that I believe with all of my heart that God showed up and showed off yesterday by using our kids. Yesterday I felt like we went from "oh that's cute" to really seeing how powerful our kids are and it was encouraging for those kids to have adults come to them for prayer. A lot of them thought it was really neat.

But, all evening and this morning, I've been fighting those thoughts of you-should-have-said-that or you shouldn't-have-said-that or I'm just afraid I'm going to get called into Pastor Bryan's office and "get in trouble". I'm not sure why. I don't have a basis to think that Bryan would call me in to talk to me -- he's never done anything but encourage me and I know that he believes in what I do. I'm just telling you I've been fighting the thoughts this morning and it's starting to make me mad -- just that the thoughts won't stop.

I do have 1 thing that I'm a little embarassed about -- OK, REALLY embarassed about -- that 500 miles song. OH MY GOODNESS!! I guess the sound team didn't see the little note that said "start at 35 seconds"!! I wanted to faint as I was walking down the stairs and I hear, "When I get drunk, well I know I'm going to be, I'm gonna be the one who gets drunk next to you". All I can do now is just make sure next time to STRESS starting the song at the right spot or don't chance it by using that kind of song. I have heard the song, but don't guess I ever really paid attention to the words. But since yesterday, that song has been stuck in my head!! To add injury to insult, I looked that song up again on iTunes and Steven Curtis Chapman sings a version of it!!! Hindsight truly is 20/20!!

Then, I feel like I fumbled around during my time of sharing. There was so much I was trying to share, but be aware of the time. That song really threw me off as I was walking down to share. I couldn't get out of my head how embarassed I was that that song played. I had to gather myself to share from my heart, but I felt like I just fumbled through it. I think we all saw that I don't think quick on my feet when Doug dumped out my offering lesson!! ;) That was funny!!!

What's funny is that as I'm typing this, I'm feeling those silly thoughts slowly get quieter and quieter. SO, I guess what I'm shamelessly asking is for comments about yesterday. I want to be able to come back here and read what everyone took away from the service yesterday -- just a reminder of all of the support that I have around me. I guess I just need to "have a little help from my friends". (There's my breakout into song and dance).

TBL -- Day 1 & 2

Yesterday, I thought I was doing so good. I had my oatmeal for breakfast. I had a Lean Cuisine for lunch. Aaron's mom is in town and wanted to meet us at Cracker Barrel, so we went. I had a salad -- not much of one because it wasn't very good. I had a pounding headache while we were eating dinner. I couldn't figure out why. As I was sitting at dinner, I just kind of asked God what in the world was going on. He said it was a lack of sugar. :)

Before yesterday, I didn't drink water -- only sweet tea (and caffenated, by the way). Yesterday, I didn't have ANY tea or sugar all day. Instead, I had 6 glasses of water (oh the trips to the bathroom!!)! I was having MAJOR withdrawals!!!

I went home and took some headache stuff and went to bed. This morning when I got up, I felt like I was going to pass out. I was standing in the shower this morning thinking at any moment that I could just fall over. But, I didn't.

I jumped out of the shower, got dressed, and went and ate my oatmeal and had 2 glasses of water. I guess I over did it yesterday -- or maybe "under did it". Isn't it crazy how easily your flesh can become addicted to just plain sugar?!?!

So, today I had my oatmeal, Chick-Fil-A for lunch (I know, I know. I even had a Dr. Pepper!!), and for dinner I just ate a few grapes and a few appetizers at the baby shower, but not near what I normally would have eaten and I'm not hungry.

But, other than the Dr. Pepper, I didn't have any sugar today. . . well, besides a few Chick-Fil-A mints (love those things!!) But, tonight I'm feeling much better than I did last night!! And, I had 5 glasses of water today -- no tea!!

I did get my Core Secrets down out of the attic, but the ball isn't aired up yet. . . maybe I'll get that done on Monday.

Here's to all of us trying to disipline our flesh -- one step at a time.

P.S. Please pray for me!! I/We've lost my holder with all the ESC worship DVDs/CDs. It's not where it should be and it's not where it shouldn't be. Children's church Sunday is THIS SUNDAY and I need God to show me where they are!! I'm kind of freaking out -- only in a calmer way than I normally would!! ;) Oh the joys of a portable church!

UPDATE: Found the DVDs!!! Right where they shouldn't have been!! But, they were out in the open, so once I had a key to the right room, there they were!! YAY!!

Let the games begin. . .

Today I went to pick up the scale for the Biggest Loser competition. I got home just in time to get ready for life group and I didn't want to "cheat" before it all starts.

We had an awesome life group tonight, but afterwards Francesca and I were talking about TBL and Billy & Aaron started "laughing" at how the scale was going to measure our body fat. So, they decided to jump on and see what the scale had to say. They entered all of their information and once we figured it out. . blah, blah, blah.

So, after Billy & Francesca left, I decided to go ahead and take a peek at what was before me -- or maybe I should say, on me. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I weigh more now than I have ever weighed in my life (besides being pregnant)!!! What the heck?!?! It was after I had eaten and blah, blah, blah, but I didn't eat 15 pounds of food for supper!!!

So, for those of you who thought I didn't have much to lose, I have to say you are definately WRONG!! So, first thing tomorrow morning, I'm going to climb up in my attic and pull down my Core Secrets ball and DVD. Then, I'm going to find that Denise Austin book that Erica was so kind to lend me a while back. But first, I'm going to drink a glass of water and weigh again. All I can say is -- let the game begin!!!

All of this in good competition, of course. And, don't ask me to post my weight or pictures on here -- not going to happen.

UPDATE morning of 2/1: So, I got up this morning, took a shower, took my pictures, drank a glass of water, and weighed again. It wasn't as bad as last night, but I'm definately going to work harder now that I've seen that number -- and the pictures!!!

For all you TV Buffs

I have to have some game show music for ESC Sunday. I searched ALL DAY LONG (not kidding) to find some game show music. A guy sent me a link this evening that has theme songs for every TV show imaginable. Now, I can't decide which one to choose. I can't tell you what we're doing. . . just tell me your all time favorite game show music and I'll go from there. It can be recent or it can be old (well, older than some).

What's Your Ring Tone?!?! =)

Today I got my new phone -- a PINK one!!! I want the coolest ringtone!! My phone has it where you can designate a different ringtone for each person. So, what is your ringtone? What do you think my ringtone should be? This should get some comments!!!

No Distractions. . .

Yesterday in children's church, we had over 60 kids -- actually closer to 70 kids. WOW!! It was wild and crazy!!! Today I felt like I was supposed to blog about what happened:

All last week, when I would try to prepare for Sunday morning, I just felt like I couldn't. I felt like God was going to do something and there was no need for me to prepare because it wasn't going to go as I planned anyway.

So, we got there yesterday morning and as I was meeting with my team and we were praying before we opened our doors, I heard it again, "Don't let things be a distraction today from what I'm (God) going to do." I told my team that no matter if we had kids running all over the place during our worship/prayer time, we were not going to let them distract us. We needed to keep those kids who were running around safe, but don't let them distract us.

So, we started out and we were talking about prayer yesterday -- the "do's and don'ts" of prayer. Although I believe there is no such thing as a perfect prayer, I had 3 examples of things we're not supposed to do while praying. One was praying just so everyone can hear us and using big words to impress those around us. One was doing it out of obligation -- like praying at dinner and rolling our eyes because someone is praying too long. The last one was just babbling -- saying things over and over and over and over and over again.

Anyway, I told the kids that we were going to go into a time of worship and prayer and I didn't want them to let anyone distract them from praying and worshipping. I had some of my team members come to the front and I told the kids that if they wanted prayer for anything, that we would pray with them. The first song started out and kids immediately started running in the back. I just had to close my eyes and CHOOSE to not be distracted by the kids jumping from couch to couch in the back (Yes, we had a worker there trying to contain them. The kids weren't just back there as a major accident waiting to happen.)

We had kids come down for prayer and a few of the kids were really worshipping God. We had 3 girls that had hurt their wrists last week. They all came down for prayer. I noticed during our fast song that they were all being very easy to clap. We prayed for them and ALL 3 of them said their wrists were healed after we prayed. One even started waving her hand saying, "Look!! I can move it!!!"

Another little girl came down for an earache and after we prayed, she said she felt better.

Another little girl came down. It was her first time to the ESC and she was in the 3rd grade, I think. Her dad works on power lines and travels to go help in disasters to restore power. I guess that recently her dad's partner had been seriously injured while working on a power line. He was ok, but it put a great fear in this girl. Krissy began to pray for her and I didn't hear was Krissy was saying, but I knew God was touching that little girl. Tears began to go down her cheeks. Krissy just kept praying and when Krissy was done, that little girl gave her the biggest hug -- not because Krissy did anything other than pray, but because that little girl felt God that morning.

That same little girl was in my small group afterwards and someone else wanted us to pray for her that she wouldn't be afraid. I said that we would, but that girl looked at me and just smiled. The fear that was on her before wasn't there anymore. We just prayed that God would protect her dad while he was at work. Let me tell you, that little girl didn't leave there the same way she came in.

So, I was thinking yesterday about all that stuff and why it all happened and how easy it was. I felt like the whole reason all of that happened is because we weren't distracted. By the end of our worship time (only 2 songs), more than 1/2 of the kids were in the back running around, but those who chose to worship were all about it!! As for my leaders, Krissy usually would have been one of the ones in the back running around chasing those "distractions", but instead she prayed for a little girl and she was set free.

From now on, I'm NOT going to be distracted from what God wants to do. I have no doubt that as our "core" group starts to really worship and move with God, those "distractions" one by one will want what those other ones want and before long, every child will be entering in and when it's time to stop be disappointed.

My Sister Hears From God

Today I got a phone call from my sister. My sister and I are pretty close and we talk fairly often -- but not as often as I would like. But, she called today and this phone conversation was really encouraging to me.

She called to talk because we haven't talked in a few weeks. I asked her what was going on and she said that she gave her 3 week notice yesterday at her job and was starting a new job in 3 weeks. This was quite a shock for me. She has worked at the same place for the last 6 years and has loved her job. Her "title" is pretty long, but she's the Administrative Assistant to the guy who's title is about 10 words long. . so his 10-word-title follows "Administrative Assistant". Anyway, she works in this fancy building with these "big-wig" people who know some even bigger "big-wig (and famous)" people. She talks on the phone to people all over the world. She is involved in helping set up famous people for big events for the company she works for. She's responsible for making and sending out thousands of fliers for events. She started out in Customer Service and had to memorize this manual that was THICK!! It is huge, but she did it. Everyone there loves her and she's free to just be Sally -- which is sometimes a little "dingy", but she's free to be who she is.

The problem with this job is that it's very stressful. There are 3 administrative assistants for the department she works in. 2 of them have quit over the last few months and they haven't replaced them yet. So, Sally's been doing their work, plus her own. She's had all of these projects going on where she works her butt off on one and when she's finished, she starts another one -- all without someone even telling her that they appreciate how she's stepped up and doing 3 people's job while getting paid for 1.

Last year, she was having some major stomach problems. She was losing weight -- with NONE to lose, literally. She was starting to look anorexic, although there was no way that she was. She had dr. appointment after dr. appointment and the final word was that it was stress. When your stress levels rise, it causes your stomach to produce more stomach acid, which processes your food faster. So, no matter how much she ate, she would be hungry in about 2 hours again. Her stomach was just processing her food too fast due to the stress. They put her on some medicine and it helped, but she only gained 2 pounds back. (I know. . opportunity to get jealous over that one!)

Anyway, a job opening came up at the prison there. What's weird is that my brother is a prison guard there (crazy, but true) and her job will be the administrative assistant to the warden. She is getting better pay, more vacation days, more sick days, better benefits, and the warden told her that to him (and I quote what she said he said), "Every day is a Friday to me. I don't have Mondays. If you come in my office and try to have a Monday, I'll tell you to leave and not come back until it's a Friday for you." What he means is -- there is no stress here.

Sally has been trying to get pregnant since last June. Lately she's become really frustrated in the whole process. I remember going through the almost exact same thing when we were trying to get pregnant with Payton. I had a miscarriage and it took us another year before we conceived Payton and I know my situation had to do with my job stress, too.

So, yesterday, she gave her 3 week notice and told them that it was just a better job for her. Her boss (who she LOVES) just kind of looked down his nose at her because she was going to go work at the prison. It really broke her heart. The "boss lady" over him called Sally into her office and asked her what was going on. Sally just told her that she's been working 3 jobs in that office and it was stressing her out. Her stomach's been acting up again and the other job has the better benefits (see above). They tried to make her another offer, but she wouldn't budge. She was crying because she felt like she had "screwed them over" by quitting.

Here's where it gets encouraging:
The "big boss lady" told Sally, "I want you to go home and pray about it over the weekend. Don't make any decision until you do."

Here was Sally's response:
She said, "I've already prayed about it. It was kind of an accident that I found out about it and it looked like I wasn't going to get it. But, I just prayed and told God that if the job was to be mine, then I would get it. I know that God has a plan for me and I know this is it. It's all the things I need in a job -- low stress level, benefits, better pay. It's God's way of saying, 'I have better things for you to do.' "

Now, my sister and I don't talk a lot about God. I know she believes in God and I know that she's saved, but I don't know much more than that. I'm so excited that she HAD prayed about it and she DID hear God on it and she wasn't AFRAID to just say that!!

So, I'm asking you to pray for her these things:

1. Pray that she will have strength over the next 3 weeks at her current job to finish strong. Pray that they will still show her the same love and respect they've showed her over the last 6 years of her being there and that it wouldn't be an awkward 3 weeks between them.

2. Pray that she will conceive a child soon. They don't have any children and she would be the "perfect little mommy".

Last Week . . .

I just wanted to blog about how awesome last week was. I don't know if my perspective has changed towards a bunch of things or what, but it has been good.

Monday: I had to get up and take Payton to school. Evan and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things to start off the week. WOW was awesome. I even had 2 prophetic words for people.

Tuesday: I took Payton to school again. Came home and then went to the church for my day at the office. It was pretty unproductive, but prayer was good. We prayed for Payton's ears and he came home from school to tell me that his ears weren't hurting anymore. Praise God!! That night, I decided that my office needed a MASSIVE overhaul. It had been cluttered and a mess since we moved in here in April and I wanted it to be spotless when Aaron got home. So, I cleared out my office COMPLETELY of everything and if it came back in, it had to have a place. It took me until midnight, but I got it done. It feels so good to have everything put away and my office is so much bigger than I thought it was!!

Wednesday: I took Payton to school again. Then, it was coffee with Brandi & Krissy. I always love coffee days. I had a million and one things to get done that day. I went and bought some make-up today. Big step for me. I picked up Payton & Ethan from school and Ethan came over to play. I cleaned the house like mad because Aaron was coming home and the house was a mess because of my office plans. We weren't going to go meet Aaron at the airport because I had been to Abilene every day last week and if I went back, that would be 2 trips in one day. But, I talked to Aaron before he left Dallas and he sounded like he really wanted us to meet him there. So, we did. We hopped back in the car and headed to the airport to meet him. When he came off of the plane, it was like in a movie. The boys ran over to him and gave him really big hugs. We went to eat at McDonald's (guess who got to pick) and headed home.

Thursday: I ended up going in to town for some reason. Oh yeah. I volunteered to help take Payton's class to the library. It was fun. Picked up Ethan and Payton had a massive meltdown on the way home. By the time we got home, he had racked up 13 pops. We got home and he did apologize, though. Our evening went well.

Friday: I put together all of my children's church stuff for Sunday. This is a change because I usually pull it all together (get things sorted) on Saturdays, but I decided in my heart that was going to change. Plus, I had to get my stuff ready to go scrapbooking!! Brandi, Cherith, Casey, Becky, and I all had a date at the new scrapbook store in town that night. The weather was supposed to be a little yucky, but I didn't care. It has been months since I've been to a crop and I was going!! We had the best time!!! At midnight, Brandi, Casey, and I went to Taco Bueno to grab something to eat. We sat in there until about 1:15 am or so!! We had a blast!!! You'll have to ask Casey how God answered her prayer for a camera!! ;) Then, Casey & I went to Wal-Mart for my last minute things for children's church. I took Casey home and crawled in bed at 2:20 am.

Saturday: We lounged around. It was cold outside and although we were quite bored, we survived. We did work on my set a little bit to get it ready for the "big reveal". Pastor Bryan called and told me that I could cancel children's church if I wanted to because of the weather. I decided that's what we would do.

Sunday: Awesome church service. WOW! is all I can say. I know there were times when I was acting like a crazy person!! I know I was doing things I've never done before, but it was good. It felt awesome to really know what it is like to be out of my own control, but with God in control.

I'm going to go back to one thing. The cool thing about while Aaron was gone is that the boys and I got along just great. Usually, Payton and I are ready to kill each other after being together without Aaron, but not this time. We really had a great time.

I'm expecting this week to be just as awesome. I've decided to start getting up at 6:30 am and get ready for the day. It just adds so much time to my day for me to get things done!! I'm sad to say that this morning I slept in and I'm running way behind. . . doesn't help that I've been reading everyone's blogs this morning!! OK . . off to do some housework!!

My Promised Land -- What is it?

Since everyone else it talking about it on their blogs, I can't be any different!! I've been thinking about it all week and I just don't know what it looks like. Or maybe I do, but I'm trying to make it too hard. So, I started thinking about all the things I want to do (and have wanted to do) and make a list. Maybe I'll see a "common thread". These are in no particular order:

* Have an amazing children's ministry where God moves in and through the kids
* Be the best mom to my 2 boys, loving them the way they need to be loved
* Be the best wife to Aaron -- meeting all his needs -- having dinner cooked, a clean house, etc.
* Go to Africa.
* Go back to school
* Be a lawyer
* Be a surrogate mother for someone
* Be foster parents
* Have more children of my own
* Be able to live on 10% and give 90%
* Work in a district attorney's office (been there, done that, would love to do it again)
* Be creative and have time to be creative
* Be able to give away big things -- cars, houses, etc.
* Be able to go on vacations and send people on vacations
* Be organized
* I want my house to be a place where people love to come and visit -- where the guys can play Xbox (like they already do) or the girls come to just hang out. I want my home to be full of hospitality.
* Write children's ministry curriculum
* Have CM conferences here instead of me having to travel to them. I know people will come to see what is going on in our children's ministry because it will be something that has never been done before.

I'm sure my "list" contains more. I just had a few minutes to write and thought I would give it a shot. My heart is children's ministry. I'm not sure exactly where all the other things fall into place. Maybe they're dreams that God is going to replace. Maybe they are things I'll do in my "spare time". Maybe I'll get to do these things alongside children's ministry. Maybe God will reveal His plan for me very clearly. Then, I just have to be obedient.

Man, I feel like a woman!

I just want to testify to what God has done in me without me knowing what He was doing!!

Since we didn't have children's church in December, I really wanted to take some time to say, "Whatever you want to do, God, I'm on board." Well, December was so busy -- just busy. But, what I didn't realize is that God was taking my hurt -- something that had hurt so bad -- and He was healing it.

If you've read my blog, you read my "November 15th" post about the baby that I had in high school. During the month of November, I felt like I was 17 again. I remember being at home and not feeling like an adult. It is something really hard to explain. I just felt like I was 17 in my normal life. But, if you've read that post, I told God that I was taking my hand off of a wound that I had kept covered up for 12 years and I was going to allow Him to clean it out and heal it the right way.

In November, I did grieve for J. And, it was only a few days and I felt like my grieving time was over. In December, I felt this weird "I want to buy clothes and I want to wear makeup" thing. For all of my life, I've NEVER liked shopping for clothes and I've wore makeup on a few occassions, but never had much interest. And, I have never felt beautiful. No matter what people have said or done, I never felt like I was beautiful and I felt like no matter what I did, I would never be that. But, on the other hand, I didn't WANT to be beautiful because beautiful people were noticed -- they got attention -- something I didn't want.

On New Year's Eve at church, after baptisms, I had 2 people come up to me and tell me how beautiful I was and for the first time, I believed it. I felt it. After the second person came up to me, I just said, "Thank you. It's just something God is doing in me." She said, "Well, it looks good on you."

On Friday, I had a hair appointment -- not with the hair fairy (long story) -- but at the same place. I went in there and told the lady that I wanted whatever she wanted to do with my hair. We found this cut that I really liked and she thought it would look nice, so we went for it.

I didn't realize how long my hair had gotten!! It was a good few inches below my shoulders!! She started cutting and I really liked it. Then, she colored it. That took forever, but I have really thick hair. The lady was great to talk to and I talked to her about children's ministry. (I think it was hard for her to believe that woman was a children's "pastor" and not my husband -- but that's for another post).

Anyway, when she got all done, I wasn't sure if I was all about the color. It cost $85 for her to do all of that to my hair and for $85, I wished the color was a little more drastic.

But, as I was driving home, I heard about a new book "Famine to Fairytale". It's the story of Naomi and Ruth. When I heard that, I knew I had to get it. And, as I was driving, I realized what God had been doing.

He has been restoring my womanhood. I've never felt like a woman. I've always felt like a little girl. Now, I feel like a woman. I was reminded while I was driving about a word that I received a few years ago. I had gone back to Enid and there was a prophet there who always read my mail, but it was always awesome. I was really missing Oklahoma and our church body there. At the end, she had a prayer time and she gave me a word that went something like this:

God has placed you there. He has placed you there for a purpose higher than yourself. One day there is going to be this sudden shift -- an all of a sudden shift -- and you are going to come out glorious. You are going to be like Ruth. God will bring you to that place just like he did Ruth. Until then, glean in the fields. Glean in the fields.

Gosh!! I wish I could find that word. I have it written down somewhere on a yellow notepad, but I'm going to have to find it. So, I went home and studied about Ruth & Naomi. Ruth went to be with her mother-in-law and she worked in the fields. She worked in the fields picking up the leftover pieces of wheat. While she was working in the fields, Boaz noticed how beautiful she was. She eventually became his wife and Naomi and Ruth were no longer poor, but they were royalty.

I looked up the word GLEAN and here is what it means:

glean /glin/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[gleen] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to gather slowly and laboriously, bit by bit.
2. to gather (grain or the like) after the reapers or regular gatherers.
3. to learn, discover, or find out, usually little by little or slowly.
–verb (used without object) 4. to collect or gather anything little by little or slowly.
5. to gather what is left by reapers.

I wasn't sure how that fit into "my story", but I thought it had to be about children's ministry, but it wasn't.

God had gone back and helped me pick up the pieces -- bit by bit -- and He's healed it. I feel like God has restored my womanhood. I feel restored. I care about hair and makeup -- like girls are supposed to do. (Girls, let me say that if you don't care about hair and makeup, that doesn't mean you aren't a woman.) I'm just saying, for me, I've always WANTED to care about those things, but couldn't figure out how.

So many people who saw my new haircut this morning told me how beautiful I looked. I felt it. I feel beautiful. I feel confident. There has been that "all of a sudden shift" and it feels good. I feel like a new person. I feel like I am beautiful -- on the outside and inside.

I am so glad that I serve a God that can do things without me even noticing.

Off to a meeting -- maybe I can finish this later or maybe later I'll find the rest of that prophecy and put it on here.

Update on Blogging Out Loud

So today was our first Sunday with all of our kids under the same gym roof. We had 56 kids today!! 50 and above seems to be the "norm" over the last few months, which is awesome!! It happened so fast that I almost didn't realize it!! Awesome!!

We started off good. It was weird and is weird to say this, but I was not in control of Sunday morning's service. I had given that to God. Yes, it was a little nerve wrecking and a little awkward, but I had a peace that God was going to do whatever He needed to do.

I told my Bible story -- I think I messed it up. I'm going to have to go back and see. I think I got my number of days mixed up and I didn't finish the story of how Daniel was 10 times stronger than the other men at the end of his "fast from the King's food". Oh well. . I'm not satisfied with that, but I am not going to dwell on it.

So, we broke into small groups. 2nd through 5th grades small groups were about the same. We weren't sure how the younger kids' groups were going to work out. We put the Kindergarten and 1st grades together (quite a big group) and we put the 4 & 5 year olds (those that aren't in kindergarten yet) together (quite a large group) and we put all the 3 year olds together (only 10 kids -- 9 girls and Evan).

I was going to help Nicole with the 3 year olds because I thought they would be the hardest. Boy, was I wrong!!! Those ten little 3 year olds did whatever I asked them to do (although sometimes they looked at me funny when I told them we were going to run in place)! They sat in a circle and ate their snacks and they colored and shared!! I was amazed!! Then, I look up. . .

Krissy had the 4 & 5 year olds. I felt TERRIBLE for what I saw!! She was trying to teach the kids about how Daniel was 10 times stronger and there was a cute part on getting the kids to experience that. When I looked up, she had 2 kids trying to escape from 2 different doors!! She had about 5 kids that were in their own little worlds -- tackling, hitting, building blocks -- anything but paying attention.

So, I decided to go help her out. Oh my goodness!!! There was one little boy that I had to put in my lap, put my legs over his legs, and my arms around him to get him to sit and listen. Yes, I know I was holding hiim against his will -- get ready for some confessions of a children's pastor!! But, I was convinced that if he would just see what she was trying to teach, he would be interested. WRONG!!

Finally, I gave up trying to restrain him because there were about 8 others that were completely out of control. Krissy did have about 4 that were doing whatever she wanted them to do. It was hard to focus on those 4, when the rest were out of control. At 12 pm, Krissy just said, "How much longer?" I went to see and Pastor Bryan was still preaching. On my way back, I realized we hadn't done any worship, so decided to come back to large group and worship until the parents came.

That worked ok . . when you're worshipping, you don't realize those kids that are just running around everywhere. ;)

So, that ends our day. Dustin, Krissy, and I talked after everyone was gone and we're all still going to do children's ministry. We strategized a little bit more on our check-out system and figured out a way to make that smoother. This week on my agenda is to figure out how to fix this 4 & 5 year old group.

But, we aren't giving up. It felt so nice for all of us to be together today. There was energy (maybe too much for some kids) and we had new toys that everyone loved. Next week, we'll have our new set (it will be awesome)! I know that God is going to do something with us all in the same room. I think I did what He wanted me to do, though -- let go of control. Let me say this, too. I am not frustrated. I am not giving up. I am not giving in. I'm going to push through and we will be successful!! It will take time for all of us to adjust, but God is going to give us a strategy to reach EVERY boy and girl that comes through our doors.

Blogging Out Loud -- Part 2

So, plan B was to have all of the kids in the gym when we resume children's church on January 7th. Here's how we got our answer:

On Dec. 17th, I went to church a little early and was standing in the hallway when I felt like I was supposed to go into intercessory prayer. I went in and asked Kathy to pray for God to give us our solution. I expected someone to tell me this grandioso plan -- didn't happen. But, I did find out that the school is going to have to use those rooms for more ISS -- made my heart break.

I went to the pre-service meeting and as I'm standing there, I heard so clearly that God's plan is for us all to be together in the gym. I have been ok with this plan from the beginning, but Krissy has not. She was willing to do ANYTHING (even meet under the tree in front of the school) to keep this from happening. We've both been in situations where you have 3 year olds all the way through 5th grades and it's nothing but CHAOS!! So, I told God that if that was His plan, He was going to have to tell Krissy that. This is one thing we HAVE to be in agreement about!!

So, we go to worship (AWESOME by the way) and after church I asked my team to meet me in the gym. My team gathered and I broke the news to them. I asked them not to get upset with the school (it would be very easy to do) and that we were just going to flow with this and learn from it.

After our "meeting", Krissy came over and said, "Rachel, during worship, I just felt like I heard God say that this IS His plan -- for us to all be together. If we want our kids to be moving in spiritual gifts, what better way than for us all to learn together."

YAY, GOD!!!

I believe with all of my heart that God wants to do something in our children's ministry that has never been done before. And, let me tell you, there aren't ANY children's pastors that would jump at an opportunity to teach 3 year olds through 5th graders together in the same room!! There's too many attention spans, comprehension levels, wiggle worms, such a huge space (with stairs, I might add)!! But, I believe this is God's plan. But, I feel like I'm stepping out of the boat onto the stormy waters!!

I like plans. I like detailed plans. I like to be in charge and on top of things. I've had this whole month of December off and I'm running here and running there and doing this and doing that. Ordering new toys, ordering new set parts, Re-Ordering new set parts, talking on the phone, having Christmas here, having Christmas there, tracking new set parts, shipping off the projector, on hold for 40 minutes with Overstock.com, calling Overstock back, blah, blah, blah.

I was talking to Krissy yesterday and she said, "How's the curriculum thing coming?" (I'm having to write the 3 year old lessons on their level) I wanted to scream -- I HAVEN'T HAD TIME!!! The truth is that I have had the time -- I've been wasting time. The sad thing is that I'm not a procrastinator or a poor time manager, but I sure have been lately!!

All day today, I've had the Casting Crowns song "The Voice of Truth" going through my head.

Voice Of Truth

Lyrics by Mark Hall and Steven Curtis Chapman
Music by Mark Hall and Steven Curtis Chapman
Song based on 2 Cor. 12:7-10 and 1 Cor. 1:20-2:4

© 2003 Club Zoo Music / SWEC Music (Admin. by Club Zoo Music) / BMI / Sparrow Song / Peach Hill Songs (admin by EMI Christian Music Publishing) / BMI. All rights reserved. Used by permission


Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

This whole thing is out of my comfort zone. I feel like I am facing a giant. And it's scary. My flesh wants to run. But I won't. I'm sure Peter wanted to run, but instead he chose to step out on those waves. I'm sure David wanted to run, but instead he chose to pick up that stone. I'm just having to stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me -- even when I have to listen very carefully.

Again, I believe this is God's plan. I'm used to running to a book or other children's pastors to see how to do things instead of running to God for my answers. There is no book for this situation (maybe I can write one when we figure this out) and the children's pastors who are having to teach 3 years through 5th graders pretty much say find a way around having them all together (not possible at the moment). God's in control -- not me, which is uncomfortable sometimes.

So God, here I am stepping out on what seems like stormy waters of uncertainty, but I'm going to lean on you for this direction and every step I take. I know you'll calm me when I'm freaking out. I know you're going to speak to these kids on their levels. I pray that they will have their ears open to hear. Father, teach me how to teach them. Be so real to them!! Show up in a big way -- a way where people can say -- Now THAT was GOd.

Blogging Out Loud

Our preschool classes (3 years through Kindergarten) have been meeting in some "permanent" classrooms on the school grounds. The school had 2 classrooms they weren't using and allowed us to put our stuff in there and leave it from week to week. It has been AWESOME for them to have a place all of their own. It's been great for Krissy & Nicole not having to set up after all the sound equipment is out, etc. Plus, we were running about 18 to 20 kids in that age group when they were meeting in the nursery area. The area we had was just too small to hold all of them. Now, they have some room to run around and play.

However, I got a call on Wednesday that the school is going to start using those rooms again in January and we have to get all of our stuff out by next Friday. My first reaction was "What the heck?!?! We just got those rooms in September!! Where are we going to meet now?"

As I just sat at Chick-Fil-A (our usual Wednesday lunch spot) with Krissy & Brandi, I just purposed in my heart that I wasn't going to get stressed out about it. God has a plan and He has somewhere for us to meet.

Yesterday I was listening to one of my favorite pastors, Willie George, from Tulsa and he was talking about how sometimes we just need to ask God for a STRATEGY. That's exactly where I'm at. I am just needing a STRATEGY. Those 18 to 20 kids is now close to 30 on a weekly average -- and that's just the 3, 4, and 5 year olds!!

There wasn't room for 20 kids in the old nursery part, there's definately not room for 30!! Plus, Kelly's nursery was exploding, too. She was relieved when we moved out giving her babies some more room and a place for nursing mothers to go. Doesn't seem like we can move back in there.

Yes, we could bring them back into the gym and all of us have children's church in there. That's my Plan B. The only problem with that is it will become "glorified babysitting". Our lessons will be so far over the 3 year old's head, I'm afraid they will walk away with nothing. Then, you've got those 4th & 5th graders who will be so bored because I'm having to teach on a 3 or 4 year old level -- remember PrayGround?

So, this entry is just to "blog out loud". In my head, it doesn't make sense. We have children's church back on 3 weeks from this Sunday. I feel like I don't have time to deal with this "issue". Guess I'll just have to let God deal with it.

I have so many things going on that my "break" hasn't been much of a break. It's ok, though. I'm not complaining. I'm just glad I could get some things caught up and some new things started. I'm sure this is right where God wants me -- having to find out what HIS plan is in all of this -- or Plan A.

So, God, I'm needing a place for these kids to meet and have classes. Or I need a strategy on how to teach fifty to sixty 3 year olds through 5th grade kids in a way that EVERYONE walks away with something new in their heart -- where everyone walks away with the light turned on.

The Gift of Giving . . . .

This weekend has been one crazy weekend!! And, it's not even over yet!! Friday night was the ESC Team Christmas Party and boy, was it fun!! Not to mention, all my leaders pitched in and got me a gift certificate to "The Hair Fairy -- Gaylene"!!! It really was the PERFECT present!! (Thanks Brandi for the hint!) I got all of them neat little presents that I was so excited to give them!! Little did I know how perfect each one of them was!!!

Today (Saturday), our ESC Team hit the town to buy Christmas presents for a few families in our church and of course, kids in our children's ministry!! Cyndi & Krissy were my shopping buddies for the day. We had lunch at TaMolly's and ALL 3 of us ate for $11 thanks to some awesome coupons I found!! We (all of us shoppers) all saw each other at Wal-Mart and we were all having such a great time shopping for these kids!! We were the ones clogging up the aisles going over all the cool things we had bought for the person we were shopping for!!

The plan was to meet back at my house at 4 pm to start wrapping gifts. About 3:50, I started getting calls saying, "I'm going to be late!" That was great, though, because so were we!! We were still at the mall headed back to Layne Bryant for the final sales!!

When we were finished, we just went on and on about how excited we were to be blessing these families. The back of my car was loaded with sacks!!

We got to my house and Dusty & Kari were already there and were in the process of wrapping their gifts. We brought in sacks and sacks of presents and started sorting!! Soon, Eric, Nicole, & Tanna showed up with their loot and we all were wrapping together talking about how much fun we had!!

In the end, it was Krissy and I wrapping the final gifts. I swear, God multiplied our wrapping paper!!! I still have a TON of it left over!! We had made quite the mess of my living room, so we decided that we definately needed a picture of all the presents together. I grabbed my camera while Krissy started arranging presents. OH MY GOODNESS!!! I've never seen so many presents in one place at the same time!!! I did get pictures, but I haven't put them on my computer yet, so I'm sorry you don't get to see them yet. The funny thing is that my pictures don't even have all of the presents in them!! A few more will be showing up at church tomorrow and we were able to buy 2 new mattresses, which aren't in the pictures, but they will be presents.

I started to go to bed, but I couldn't lay down just thinking about all those presents in my living room!!!

I want to tell you what God showed me today. He loves me so much more than I love these kids we shopped for today. He wants to bless me above and beyond all I could ever hope, ask, or think. But, the main thing I walked away with today was this. I heard God say, "Rachel, I want you to ask me for those things that you want. . . spiritual things and natural things. Just ask. I will give you the desires of your heart. Just ask."

You know, the lists we got from these families, we had a budget that didn't seem like a lot of money. I knew it was a good start, but I never imagined that we would be able to give these families EVERYTHING they asked for -- EVERYTHING. There are a few things we're still looking for, but I know we'll find them. And, we did it all inside our budget. A few things were given to us from people who found out what we were doing and said, "Hey, I have this. It's BRAND NEW. Do you think you could use it?" New things still in the box and things a kid had put on their list!! Now, isn't that God!!

Today, God stretched our money farther than we expected!! We were at a clothing store and we had our clothes, but when we got to the counter, we found out we could get one more shirt. So, we went and got it and found out we could still get a piece of jewelry!! When the sales clerk printed our receipt, we spent $107 and saved $116!!! WOW!!

One of the moms wanted a gift that looked like it was impossible for us to do. After talking with a few people, we were able to do something with it. (I don't want to share what it was just in case she reads my blog!) :) It was totally the favor of the Lord!! When I went to pay for it, I thanked the lady for working with us and told her what we were doing. She was speechless that we were doing that for a family in our church!! I loved it!!!

Oh how I wish I could be there Christmas morning when those kids wake up and see those presents!! Oh how I wish I could be there to watch moms enjoy watching their kids open all of those presents knowing God took care of their Christmas!! Oh how I wish I could see the faces of the moms when they open their presents.

God, I ask you to show them your love for them this holiday season. I ask you to LAVISH your love on them. Show them how a true Father loves his children. God, I pray that you get ALL of the glory for those presents. I thank you for allowing me to be a part of such an awesome Christmas for a few blessed children. God, we know Christmas time is not all about the presents, but I pray that these families would just know how blessed they are and that you have great and amazing things in store for them. I pray that they would broaden the things they ask you for. And as they receive this season, I pray they would pass it forward.

UPDATE: Here are the pictures of ALL of the presents (minus the mattresses)!! The truth is that these pictures don't even do it justice!! There are presents piled underneath all of that!! It's really amazing!!

Who Takes Out The Trash?!?!

I once heard about a couple who this happened to:

Her dad always took out the trash. His mom always took out the trash. So, when they got married, it was frustrating because nobody would take the trash out. He thought she should do it and she thought he should do it.

I used to laugh at this story until recently, Aaron & I ARE THAT COUPLE!!! I'm not sure if his mom always took out the trash, but one of Aaron's pet peeves is that I let the trash get full (and sometimes overflowing -- depending on which trash can) and I don't take it out. This morning, I was cooking breakfast and he came in and said, "IF THE TRASH IS FULL, EMPTY IT." I stood there over the pancakes thinking, "But, you are supposed to take the trash out. At least my dad always did." My dad always took the trash out and so I assumed that would be Aaron's role. Aaron thinks that anyone can take the trash out and they should.

So, I'm curious. . .who takes the trash out at your house?!?!


P.S. I need some more comments on here, people!!!! :)

Had to get in on this one . . . .

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Just Some New Pics

Here are a few pictures that I posted on MySpace, too. Just figured I would post them here for those of you not on MySpace: